“What it feels like to see a child molestation through the eyes of the child”
‘Molestation’ stands for the act of subjecting someone to unwanted or improper sexual advances. It can be observed by research that one in every five girls become the victim of child molestation and most of the time her abusers are known. Here is a story that will explain “what it really feels when the eyes see what is not expected”
Down the memory lane there was a cheerful little girl,who played with her set of dolls ,who used to smile and giggle always and just like other girls she too wished to be a girl no less than a princess living in a beautiful castle but destiny has planned it’s own twist and turns for the little girl and that particular incident made her lose the innocence and she was left with deep scars within her heart and here she shares her story.
“I was only seventeen years old when it happened .It was a cold night when I went up to my father’s room to inquire whether he needs anything as my mother was not there and my shoulders were burdened with every responsibility of the home. When I went there my father was listening to some old tracks of some very old singers and he in the mean time requested me if I could give him a company for some time. I sat next to him and I began taking interest in the lyrics of the song. My father asked me to wait in the room until he come back ,and I kept waiting for him there.
After a while, as I turned around ,I saw him naked from below the waist .His private parts in no way resembled the ones my little brother had ,he started opening what I thought was something wrapped in a foil ,that looked like a balloon then he began . Then he began putting it on his gigantic wracker.
I asked him that what he was up to ? He gave no response to my question and suddenly grabbed me and pushed me on to the bed and started exploring my body .
I began screaming but there was no one to help me and the words of my father were constantly hitting my ears and they were “this is the sweet pain of love my child, once you experience it you will always ask for it”. When my screaming became intense and loud I was beaten up with the slippers that my father used to wear at home. He explained he was using ‘rubber’ to keep me from getting pregnant. Then he rolled over to the bed and began rubbing my legs ,he then put his hands on to the side of my breast and when I tried to stop him ,I was again beaten up more harder than my first beating was. By then I could not feel any pain because by then I was too numb to feel anything. When again I asked reluctantly to stop it he said , “it is just a body massage and nothing else” .I begged but by then the man infront of me had already turned into an animal.
He kissed my neck,he licked my face and it was looking like that I was a mere piece of flesh that was kept infront of a hungry wild animal.It was for the first time when I was ashamed of calling him to be my father.
He kept on rubbing my back .The rubbing was constant and in circular motions slowly but steadily escalated upwards and lasted for a minimum of fifteen minutes .My body just froze ,I almost felt paralyzed.Tears were running down my cheeks but by then my father turned too blind to see my tears.I clutched my arms closer to my body in an attempt to block his hands from touching my breasts .This made him angry and he immediately slid his hands into my pants and groped my ass .Suddenly his phone rang and he left the room and before parting from the room he warned me not to get up from the bed.I was kept locked for the whole night as he did not returned back to the room.
The next morning when he opened the door,he ordered me to cook food for him and I was strictly instructed not to tell anything to anyone .After my dad left for office, it took me few hours to gather all the courage so that I can go to attend my coaching classes .Being the topper of the class I was always in the good books of my teacher. Though it was a sunny day still my teacher did not fail to notice the dark clouds that were surrounding my eyes. She could sense that there was something wrong with me but she never asked anything infront of the whole class. After the class was over when my teacher hold my hands in her’s, I could not sense any of her touch because by then my soul was completely dead and my body was too paralyzed.
My teacher kept on asking me that what has happened ,but initially I choose to keep quiet . After listening to the same question again and again finally the time came when I broke my silence and told her that how brutally I was treated the other night.My teacher is the kindest lady I have ever met ,her very first move after listening to me was she asked me not to cry and she promised me that she will help me in overcoming all these sorrowful castastrophies . She then took out her phone and disclosed my story to one of her close friend whose father was a police commissioner .I was taken to that police commissioner by my teacher where I was asked to narrate the complete incident that has taken place the previous night .The commissioner asked the police officer to file a case against my father and I was taken up for the physical examination that was done by a female doctor in the presence of a lady police.
As soon as it became clear by the medical examination that I was subjected to physical abuse my parents were immediately called up by the police. My father was beaten up by the police officials till the time he confessed about all his cruel deeds and after that he was arrested by the police , and we were suggested to file a petition in the court against him.
My mother was scared that if the truth will come out it will harm our reputation in the society and she decided to keep quiet .Seeing this I was completely shattered and I decided not to live with those people who were more concerned about the society.
I with the help of my teacher and few other members, got the convict i.e. my father behind the bars by winning the case. He got seven years of imprisonment. My family was shattered by the deeds of my father .My mother was in a dilemma of accepting the reality or to believe what she wants to believe in .On one hand the family reputation was so high that it blind folded her eyes to see what had happened with her daughter . To live with those who thought that family prestige is far above than one’s own dignity was against my self- respect and therefore, I with my full conscious decided to part my ways from my family. I left the ‘house ’and started living in a ‘home’ with my teacher. Life was difficult for both of us as we both were alone ,but we both were determined enough to win over the dark past of our lives and decided to live together as a family and promised each other to always be the rainbow in each- others life .
Submitted by: Anonymous (name not revealed on request of author)